If I had to describe this house in one word, it would be ‘Layers’
You know when you are cooking and you’re chopping an onion, and the skin is a bit thin and won’t come off in one piece? That perfectly describes my day today.
The onion was the floor, and the skin was some 1/4 inch plywood that someone had, at some point added over top of the nice tongue and groove wood below.
While I don’t particularly agree with the choice of plywood over hardwood as a flooring interior design choice, that’s not what really made this the worst day of work so far. Whenever the floor was plywood retrofitted, the
mutherfucker diligent and thorough builder that did the work decided that the right amount of nails to use was a million. Each one spaced precisely on a four-inch grid over the each entire sheet of plywood.
The ply was so tight to the floor below that I was unable to get the claw of my hammer under the sheet between any two nails. When I finally did get some purchase on the plywood, it would promptly and religiously shatter into pieces, ensuring that I would not be able to get a pry bar between the next two nails. And so it went, six and a half sheets.
By about sheet three I had a technique that involved a claw hammer, wrecking bar, nail pry bar, a shovel and perhaps what is an all new yoga pose. I managed to get sheet 5 off in one piece. I considered that to be a victory. It was short lived however as my jubilation was quickly as shattered as sheet number 6. Just like peeling an onion, it was enough to make you cry.
At the end of the day I could only take solace in a couple of Robax, and the thought that maybe I will build something in this house, that 100 years from now will cause someone else to call me a ‘diligent and thorough builder’.